There’s a silent epidemic happening and it really needs to stop: Apps, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat; there’s a bazillion ways to connect with people these days. We can send a PM, a like, a woof, or we can swipe left and right among other things, and this is all great. “The hottest person I’ve ever seen in my life started following me on Instagram. YaY!”
As always, with the great comes responsibility and privilege, and we are wasting this opportunity. Think of all the super hotties you know that seem to be chronically single: How does this happen? Can you think of a few people that seem to have the perfect outer shell, decent career, yet don’t seem to have a date most Friday nights? I’m about to let you in on a little secret, for you consistently single heart breaking hotties out there. Sorry trolls, there’s nothing to learn here for you in this post, so feel free to move along.
Every SINGLE quality that we have as an identity has a good and bad side. A double edge sword exists with every label we give ourselves and to others. In this case, being a looker as a man these days with the ripped bod can act as a weight, holding us back. Why? Because, as we all know, attractive people have it a little easier in this world. People are constantly trying to meet us, to be friends with us; and in lots of cases, to hire. The drawback is when we don’t develop our social skills with everybody else. We simply don’t need to most of the time, so sometimes we end up lacking the ability to communicate efficiently. We don’t have to be funny to cope with our feelings, and we never make the attempt at a joke, or we aren’t interesting in conversation because we will get invited to the parties regardless. But, when it comes to relationships, looks become just one of many qualities that can help create a romantic relationship and/or keep it together. If looks are all we have to offer, we’re doomed to be alone.
In some more severe cases, the hottie never has to make any effort in any of his friendships and relationships – over time, they don’t gain the ability and skills to ask people out on dates. They forget to check in on good friends. They don’t realize that they need to make an effort, to plan, or to bring other things to the table with people, so they don’t. They just wait till the other person does, and they usually do; but, eventually, they stop. Around them people have been growing, evolving and developing. The really great catches we want are hot too; but not only that, they want a connection, they want to feel wanted, they need to see effort and investment or they won’t be willing to do the same. The same thing applies to friendships: If it is one sided for too long one by one they will drop off. The good news is we can avoid this.
Guys, now is the time to look at how we are operating in all of our relationships; this includes family, friends, lovers. Are we making an effort in each of these? Are we taking responsibility for our lives in the areas where it matters? Or, are we letting the others do all of the work? I’m not saying overkill and be constantly texting and needy, here. I’m saying if you are hot and lonely, maybe this is one area you could improve upon. Grownups don’t have a lot of time, and they will simply stop investing in people that are not willing to invest in them.
Selfishness will get us nowhere in the long run.
So, STUDs, get out there and get some balance back in your life: Plan a dinner with a friend, ask somebody out. It’s your turn! Don’t miss out on your opportunity.
Give and you shall receive. Give your love and energy out into the world and I promise you will always have amazing people surrounding you.
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