USING FACEBOOK AS THERAPY DOES NOT WORK
Since its inception, people have been using FB as a sounding board to write about their breakups, their problems with friends, dealing with loneliness, and a host of other personal issues. I sat back and watched silently; what do these people REALLY HOPE TO GAIN with these posts? As a coach, I personally tell my clients to run the other way if they are dating somebody that is practicing this type of behaviour, here’s why:
1. The person who writes these posts are always “right,” making the other person “wrong.” They essentially bash their exes on Social Media. We get it, he’s a complete dick, and she’s a big whore, but does garnering a bunch of hearts and likes actually help in any way? Of course not. It shows me one VERY IMPORTANT THING, this person has NO PROCESS AND STRUCTURE TO DEAL WITH THE ACTUAL EMOTIONS THAT TOOK PLACE. Instead, they resort to FB as a means to deflect the pain they are going through, looking for temporary relief and attention. This in turn tells me one thing: this drama is going to repeat again, and again, and again.
2. They make themselves a Dating Victim: the whole world sucks except for them. Insert Facebook rant. For some reason (but definitely, definitely not because of any of their choices), they keep dating these a-holes. If they don’t find a professional to help, I can predict one thing – more biatches and a-holes are a comin’ their way. They need to break their love-energy cycle. Do they know how to do this? How has blaming the world and all of their exes worked out for them so far?
3. It’s a ginormous red flag. Relationships come and go for one main purpose – to facilitate learning. If they have come to the sounding board to be “right,” it’s proof that they aren’t willing to look in the mirror and learn ANYTHING about themselves through the process they’ve so painfully shared with us. Relationships depend on teaching and learning, if you are seeing somebody that always needs to be “right” (enough to sound off on FB about it), then it’s very likely the relationship is doomed. We are more than just a body, we are powerful beyond measure – if being “wrong” about something somehow takes away from who we think we are, we’re missing the point of life. If being “right” is more important than the relationship, it has no chance to begin with.
I know some of you are fuming mad at me right now – how dare he, he doesn’t understand?! The thing is, I do. I used to be just like you. And believe it or not, I want to help, and that’s why I wrote this post. Using Facebook as therapy (vaguebooking) HAS NEVER AND WILL NEVER WORK. Please find the courage to seek out a self-confidence coach, relationship coach, or a therapist. YOU CAN DO THIS AND YOU HAVE MORE POWER OVER YOUR OWN LIFE THAN YOU REALIZE!
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