I see it everywhere: the loneliness epidemic is on the rise, with technologically advanced nations susceptible to its clenched jaws; regardless of race, age or gender. Its pain hides behind the motions, the drinks, and pictures on social media. My clients seem to “get this” around week 4 in the course.
This may make you uncomfortable, or even angry; for some, this is what you’ve been waiting for years to hear. This is the truth, and those who understand how this energy works will nod their heads in agreement to what I’m about to write.
You see, love is energy. It’s all around us – everywhere. If you don’t feel LOVE or LOVED right now, there’s nothing anyone, outside of yourself, can do (except guide you) to attain it. What’s even more ironic, is that it already resides deep within you.
Over the years, maybe expectations have made you bitter, or worse, someone so lonely and miserable that you negatively and anonymously troll the internet trying to bring other, happier, more successful people down to your desperate level. Maybe those expectations have angered you, turning you into someone who pretends that you don’t really want company or companionship, as if the world cares how tough you make yourself out to be. I’ll let you in on a secret: your suffering isn’t serving anyone – especially you.
There are 7.6 billion people on this planet, all wanting love, care and attention from others. I don’t know the exact math, but that means the possibility for connections with that many people, with all our ways to instantly communicate, make the chance for feeling loved every second of the day a near guarantee!
But, this isn’t happening. What’s going on?
Hold your hat, this is where I tell you. If you’ve already given up, this is when you’ll type your lame response and click the LOL button on Facebook, but you’re not fooling anyone. Those who are happy, successful, or fulfilled don’t need to tear down truths. You’re missing out.
There are only 2 reasons why any type of relationship exists, and they are essentially one and the same:
RELATIONSHIPS EXIST TO FACILITATE LEARNING AND GROWTH
That’s IT. The only reasons the Universe has to give you a relationship is to facilitate your learning and growth.
If someone isn’t ready to learn, the Universe says “Okay, great. You have everything under control and you’re right about everything.” There’s no need for anyone new to come into your life.
But, when we’re open and ready to learn, grow, and treat every day as a new adventure, the Universe consistently gives us new people to LEARN FROM, to TEACH and to help us GROW and move forward. Once we stop learning, the relationships stop flowing.
In any long-term relationship; friendships, or romantic relationships, when that learning stops, the connection dies. This is why communication is critical to couples staying together. Two people are out in the world (learning and growing) coexisting, and coming home to communicate, laugh and share their personal knowledge and experiences each day. Here their relationship has much higher odds of staying together.
We seek relationships out for new information, for growth. We crave romantic and sexual experiences, not for primitive feelings, but for something deeper – something spiritual, which is real growth.
Want some examples?
When we seek out health and fitness (growth) we meet others at the gym, maybe even become friends with a personal trainer, and come into knowledge from others on the same path.
When we get education (learning), we gain acquaintances and contacts at our schools.
When we get out of our comfort zone and go somewhere NEW (learning and growth), we open the doors to meet, well, anyone.
When we develop ourselves in any way, we become more attractive to people around us (increasing our AQ). We become more comfortable and confident because we increase our own value. We have more to talk about with a full week of boxing class, ax-throwing, coffee with old friends, and learning that new skill to take to our careers.
How couldn’t we have lots to say and contribute? Because of all these things we are doing, we also increase our odds of connecting with someone else who has similar interests.
The more we grow and learn, the more irresistible we become. Why? We have knowledge to share with others who are looking for their growth.
This brings me to my second point: TEACH what you know. Share your truth. As you do, you bring others closer and closer to you; they will want more. As an added benefit, they will also want to teach you about their truth. Listen to what they have to say, you might learn something.
If you’re feeling lonely, you’ve got work to do. Learn. Grow. Get out into the world, and teach others about what you gain. Give yourself to the world as much as you can, and watch how your life changes.
I’ve seen it over and over again with my clients, and now I want this for you.
Want more love, more fulfillment? What Can More Confidence Do for You?
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More on the author Chris Munro: Confidence Coach, Blogger, Contributor to MyGayToronto.com, Singer, and Author of The Power of Your AQ®: How to Build Confidence & Attract the People You Were Meant to Connect With