0

What’s The Point?

It was one of those weekends where I was just so bummed out. THAT question. That damn question came back to me.

What’s The Fucking Point?

Why am I trying so hard, to “look” and “feel” like I’m getting somewhere, but then the results I want don’t show up, again? “Am I really going to get back up again only to be let down, yet again?”

For me my problems are financial. I just can’t seem to get ahead after borrowing money for school, then my business and the expenses and further business courses I’ve needed to get it off the ground. The interest rates, the phone calls from bill collectors. It’s just so frustrating.

After a day and a half in bed feeling sorry for myself over it, I had an epiphane. This hopelessness is just how I used think about guys, dating, and feeling good about myself. I tried and tried; I just didn’t know if I was ever going to consider myself amazing, or at least adequate for somebody else. Or be loved how I wanted to. Or have somebody special or have guys that I would connect with.

But I didn’t give up.

I kept learning. I kept growing. And now, I’m in awe of the confidence I have. I’m struck by the amount of guys that love me and that I love. I’m in full abundance when it comes to an amazing social life. And I really don’t give a fuck what people think, it’s not something I pretend. I walk the walk and my work projects and everyday life show this.

If this is something that you would like for your life. Let me know. I may just be that next step in the evolution of your life. I’ve created something that nobody ever has. You’re not going to find it at a therapists’ office; you are not going to see anything like it from any other specialists or coaches.

That’s cause I’ve made it specifically for guys just like you. The norms have failed us, and so like me, you will have to look for the answers in that hard-to-find place.

What is this place I speak of? Well – it’s your soul. This is that inner voice behind your insesant thoughts that keep you up at night. It’s the place behind the negative chatter, the voice that tells you that you aren’t good enough. I deal with the heart. I deal with reality. And that’s why I get results.

So, out of bed, I get with a smile on my face. Our past experiences can be building blocks for our confidence,  and now I’m reminded of why I keep fighting.

So, WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT? For me, I do this PAQ business, because helping guys with struggles that I used to go through, gives me great joy. I deserve to be happy. And if this makes me happy, then onward I go.

Maybe I don’t know the point of certain things, why we are here. Or why there is so much suffering in the world. But I do know how to help guys with getting their lives to another level when it comes to sex, love, and confidence.

If you want this, then reach out. Let’s talk. And together we can seek out, What The FucKing Point Is, for you. Have an amazing week, and promise me that you won’t lose hope.

Want more love, more fulfillment? What Can More Confidence Do for You?

FREE E-BOOK on this topic and more>> More. Confidence. Now 

More on the author Chris Munro: Confidence Coach, Blogger, Contributor to MyGayToronto.com, Singer, and Author of The Power of Your AQ®: How to Build Confidence & Attract the People You Were Meant to Connect With

LGBT-Pride-Flag

0

Why You Are So Lonely

 

I see it everywhere: the loneliness epidemic is on the rise, with technologically advanced nations susceptible to its clenched jaws; regardless of race, age or gender.  Its pain hides behind the motions, the drinks, and pictures on social media. My clients seem to “get this” around week 4 in the course.

This may make you uncomfortable, or even angry; for some, this is what you’ve been waiting for years to hear. This is the truth, and those who understand how this energy works will nod their heads in agreement to what I’m about to write.

You see, love is energy. It’s all around us – everywhere. If you don’t feel LOVE or LOVED right now, there’s nothing anyone, outside of yourself, can do (except guide you) to attain it. What’s even more ironic, is that it already resides deep within you.

Over the years, maybe expectations have made you bitter, or worse, someone so lonely and miserable that you negatively and anonymously troll the internet trying to bring other, happier, more successful people down to your desperate level. Maybe those expectations have angered you, turning you into someone who pretends that you don’t really want company or companionship, as if the world cares how tough you make yourself out to be. I’ll let you in on a secret: your suffering isn’t serving anyone – especially you.

There are 7.6 billion people on this planet, all wanting love, care and attention from others. I don’t know the exact math, but that means the possibility for connections with that many people, with all our ways to instantly communicate, make the chance for feeling loved every second of the day a near guarantee!

But, this isn’t happening. What’s going on?

Hold your hat, this is where I tell you. If you’ve already given up, this is when you’ll type your lame response and click the LOL button on Facebook, but you’re not fooling anyone. Those who are happy, successful, or fulfilled don’t need to tear down truths. You’re missing out.

There are only 2 reasons why any type of relationship exists, and they are essentially one and the same:

RELATIONSHIPS EXIST TO FACILITATE LEARNING AND GROWTH

That’s IT. The only reasons the Universe has to give you a relationship is to facilitate your learning and growth.

If someone isn’t ready to learn, the Universe says “Okay, great. You have everything under control and you’re right about everything.” There’s no need for anyone new to come into your life.

But, when we’re open and ready to learn, grow, and treat every day as a new adventure, the Universe consistently gives us new people to LEARN FROM, to TEACH and to help us GROW and move forward. Once we stop learning, the relationships stop flowing.

In any long-term relationship; friendships, or romantic relationships, when that learning stops, the connection dies. This is why communication is critical to couples staying together. Two people are out in the world (learning and growing) coexisting, and coming home to communicate, laugh and share their personal knowledge and experiences each day. Here their relationship has much higher odds of staying together.

We seek relationships out for new information, for growth. We crave romantic and sexual experiences, not for primitive feelings, but for something deeper – something spiritual, which is real growth.

Want some examples?

When we seek out health and fitness (growth) we meet others at the gym, maybe even become friends with a personal trainer, and come into knowledge from others on the same path.

When we get education (learning), we gain acquaintances and contacts at our schools.

When we get out of our comfort zone and go somewhere NEW (learning and growth), we open the doors to meet, well, anyone.

When we develop ourselves in any way, we become more attractive to people around us (increasing our AQ). We become more comfortable and confident because we increase our own value. We have more to talk about with a full week of boxing class, ax-throwing, coffee with old friends, and learning that new skill to take to our careers.

How couldn’t we have lots to say and contribute? Because of all these things we are doing, we also increase our odds of connecting with someone else who has similar interests.

The more we grow and learn, the more irresistible we become. Why? We have knowledge to share with others who are looking for their growth.

This brings me to my second point: TEACH what you know. Share your truth. As you do, you bring others closer and closer to you; they will want more. As an added benefit, they will also want to teach you about their truth. Listen to what they have to say, you might learn something.

If you’re feeling lonely, you’ve got work to do. Learn. Grow. Get out into the world, and teach others about what you gain. Give yourself to the world as much as you can, and watch how your life changes.

I’ve seen it over and over again with my clients, and now I want this for you.

Want more love, more fulfillment? What Can More Confidence Do for You?

FREE E-BOOK on this topic and more>> More. Confidence. Now 

More on the author Chris Munro: Confidence Coach, Blogger, Contributor to MyGayToronto.com, Singer, and Author of The Power of Your AQ®: How to Build Confidence & Attract the People You Were Meant to Connect With

LGBT-Pride-Flag

0

Why Giving is Receiving When It Comes to Relationships: Part 2

When it comes to forming friendships, finding dates, or love; the people who have the best social lives – full of happiness and true meaning, simply GIVE more than the people who don’t.

When we give to ourselves and to the outside world, our AQ increases, and more people naturally start to flow towards us.

You may be thinking “That’s not true! I’m the nicest, most giving person – but I still could use more friends and more dates!” I’ll just be brief: Sorry, but you are really not as giving as you think you are. IF YOU WERE, the proof would be seen with you having an abundance of people who want to share this amazing experience of life with you.

Here’s how it works:
Everybody NEEDS & WANTS things in their life when it comes to other people. Everybody. None of us can get through life alone, and really, why would we even want to? Our best times are usually shared with others.

These are some common things everybody NEEDS in their life and in their relationships:
A. Guidance – we need help to know where to go next and what to do
B. Support– times get rough, who is there for me now?
C. Love- what is life without love? Who gives unconditional love to me?
D. Knowledge– in career, in love, in life, who has the best advice for me?
E. Understanding– nobody likes to feel alone, we need to know some special people who understand us, make us feel a part of things
F. Forgiveness– we all make mistakes all the time. The people that stay in our life are the people most willing to forgive us for being imperfect human beings.
G. Role models- who have we looked up to along the way? What qualities have we admired and tried to add to ourselves? Have we added strength? Have we added confidence?

These are some common things people WANT in their relationships:
a. Fun– want to go out? Have people over? I bet the fun people in your life come to mind FIRST
b. Laughter- some say it’s the best medicine, I agree!
c. Excitement- what special things are we working towards? Marriage? Vacation? Career Move?
d. Sexual Chemistry– those butterflies, who gives them to us?
e. Special Moments– when we look back on our lives, who is a part of those really special moments you remember?
f. Knowledge– I put this down again on purpose. All relationships are formed because of the potential of teaching and learning. This is how humanity survives and thrives.

Okay great. Maybe you even have some to add, or you might even want to switch some from one category to the other. Totally fine.

Now, if you want to start to improve your potential relationships, look at the list and do this exercise….
1. Go to the NEEDS list and explain how you GIVE to others in this way for sure right now with EACH & EVERY QUALITY LISTED (A-G).

How do you GIVE guidance now? How do you always GIVE support to the people in your life? How are you a role model for the people around you? ……

My example. I recently forgave an ex of mine after 3 years of ignoring him. He apologized and we are now friends again (I gave forgiveness and earned a friend because of it)

2. Then on this same list, explain how you could improve upon each (A-G)

How can you be more understanding? How can you be more loving? Understanding, are you quick to make people wrong or are you trying to see things from their perspective?

My example. Role models. Sometimes I am my best self and sometimes I need to grow up. I can be a better role model

3. Go to the WANTS list and explain how you GIVE to others in this way for sure right now WITH EACH AND EVERY QUALITY LISTED (a-f).

How do you GIVE laughter? How are you GIVING excitement? How do you GIVE special moments?

My example. I’m in the best shape of my entire life, giving some people those muscles for those who are attracted to that look. Or (fun) I like asking friends to go out to NBA games, MLB games, or to karaoke nights.

4. Then on this same WANTS list, explain how you can improve on giving each of these wants to others (a-f)

My example. Knowledge. I don’t blog as often as I should and from the emails I get from fans/clients/supporters I get, I know others want me to write more, and so I shall!

So do you see how this works now? As we GIVE not only to others but to OURSELVES, our AQ goes up and more people begin to naturally flow towards us.

Want more love, more fulfillment? What Can More Confidence Do For You?

FREE E-BOOK>> More. Confidence. Now

More on the author Chris Munro: Confidence Coach, Blogger, Contributor to MyGayToronto.com, Singer, and Author of The Power of Your AQ®: How to Build Confidence & Attract the People You Were Meant to Connect With

LGBT-Pride-Flag

0

Using Facebook As Therapy Does Not Work

USING FACEBOOK AS THERAPY DOES NOT WORK

Since its inception, people have been using FB as a sounding board to write about their breakups, their problems with friends, dealing with loneliness, and a host of other personal issues. I sat back and watched silently; what do these people REALLY HOPE TO GAIN with these posts? As a coach, I personally tell my clients to run the other way if they are dating somebody that is practicing this type of behaviour, here’s why:

1. The person who writes these posts are always “right,” making the other person “wrong.” They essentially bash their exes on Social Media. We get it, he’s a complete dick, and she’s a big whore, but does garnering a bunch of hearts and likes actually help in any way? Of course not. It shows me one VERY IMPORTANT THING, this person has NO PROCESS AND STRUCTURE TO DEAL WITH THE ACTUAL EMOTIONS THAT TOOK PLACE. Instead, they resort to FB as a means to deflect the pain they are going through, looking for temporary relief and attention. This in turn tells me one thing: this drama is going to repeat again, and again, and again.

2. They make themselves a Dating Victim: the whole world sucks except for them. Insert Facebook rant. For some reason (but definitely, definitely not because of any of their choices), they keep dating these a-holes. If they don’t find a professional to help, I can predict one thing – more biatches and a-holes are a comin’ their way. They need to break their love-energy cycle. Do they know how to do this? How has blaming the world and all of their exes worked out for them so far?

3. It’s a ginormous red flag. Relationships come and go for one main purpose – to facilitate learning. If they have come to the sounding board to be “right,” it’s proof that they aren’t willing to look in the mirror and learn ANYTHING about themselves through the process they’ve so painfully shared with us. Relationships depend on teaching and learning, if you are seeing somebody that always needs to be “right” (enough to sound off on FB about it), then it’s very likely the relationship is doomed. We are more than just a body, we are powerful beyond measure – if being “wrong” about something somehow takes away from who we think we are, we’re missing the point of life. If being “right” is more important than the relationship, it has no chance to begin with.

I know some of you are fuming mad at me right now – how dare he, he doesn’t understand?! The thing is, I do. I used to be just like you. And believe it or not, I want to help, and that’s why I wrote this post. Using Facebook as therapy (vaguebooking) HAS NEVER AND WILL NEVER WORK. Please find the courage to seek out a self-confidence coach, relationship coach, or a therapist. YOU CAN DO THIS AND YOU HAVE MORE POWER OVER YOUR OWN LIFE THAN YOU REALIZE!

WANT MORE CONFIDENCE ON YOUR NEXT DATE?? CLICK HERE…

Shop To Learn More:

Image result for pride flag

amazonbutton

 

Emotional Abuse. Leaving the Narcissists and Beginning the Path of Healing.

There is a rise of narcissism that is beginning to cripple North American culture – from the very top (Trump) to the bottom, it doesn’t take much looking around to notice. Further complicating this new era of narcissism is that it’s riddled with severe insecurities and lack of morals. Been on the Internet lately? Have you seen the judgmental and abusive comments, or the passive aggressive statements and posts? There is a strong sense of self entitlement. I keep asking myself where this is coming from, and what I can do to stop it. It’s increasingly common for grown men to lash out on social media and text over small things. EGO has run out of control and our society simply stands by and watches. In terms of dating; it’s made for tumultuous territory. Sometimes, the nicest gesture can be responded with name calling, or worse, over a simple misunderstanding. When we do, we become oversensitive guys who do not wish to hear, or admit, the truth.  We become narcissists. Good luck getting an apology from one: you’ll be long dead before you get it.

The problem:

Narcissists have no clue they are narcissists. To them, they are victims in society and in every single one of their relationships. They struggle with self-doubt, feelings of depression, and constantly compare themselves to their peers on social media. Didn’t get a lot of likes on an Instagram post? This is enough to send a narcissist into anger or sadness. When they do get them you can watch their face literally light up before your eyes. They take any attention they get, and you might as well not even be in the same room as them: you no longer exist.

Where do we go now?

So, what can you do when you realize you are friends with, or are dating a narcissist? Well, if they are physically or emotionally abusive, you will eventually have to leave if they don’t change their behavior. Watch how they react: are they empathetic to your feelings? Are they making changes: no longer going on the attack when conflict arises, or are they continuing to try to make you feel like shit? Move on!  I’m always okay with giving chances – trust me, I give way too many. Life is just too short, and there are too many other amazing people out there to meet and experience. You don’t owe anybody a therapy session.

To the narcissists:

I get that you are struggling; but, your insecurities are not an excuse to emotionally or physically attack another human being or animal. Grow a pair: stop the cycle of pain in this world and take some responsibility for the pain you are dishing out that perpetuates this sometimes shitty negative world we all have to live in. Get the help you need. When you give out pain, you literally are “part of the problem.”

Now the really tough part (thanks for sticking with me!):  Ask yourself how you’re contributing to the narcissism of the world. Do you owe somebody an apology or have you damaged a relationship simply over a bruised ego? How can you be a person of healing or at least stop your own pain from transferring to the people you care about?

Love will always win

From somebody who has coached many men, I can tell you first hand that these narcissists aren’t happy. They go through extreme highs and lows – one minute believing they are better than others and the next, less. They long for real connection, like we all do, but usually attempt to get it through looks, money and fame – and real love and fulfillment eludes them.

Instead: focus on meaning and purpose in your life and you will have just that, a meaningful and purposeful life.

Purchase “Sex, Love & Confidence” here:

amazonbutton

For more information visit www.studtraining101.com

Online Dating Tips & Etiquette

I’m guilty of some of these at times – hello, alcohol! That being said, we can all use reminders for a lot of things in life:

  1. No Response is a Response

Guys, we get it. How could anybody turn YOU down? You have everything that anybody could ever want. That being said, if somebody doesn’t respond back, it means they aren’t interested, or, maybe they are simply just too busy to reply. This is not the time to take it as a personal attack, nobody is out to get you, and NO, THEY DO NOT OWE YOU A RESPONSE EVEN IF YOU MESSAGE JUST TO COMPLIMENT THEM. Nobody owes you anything; especially a return response from some random stranger messaging online behind a computer, or on a phone. If you have a previous relationship in some sense then it is okay to expect a response. News flash: this is the online world, not the real world. If you get hurt enough to react with an angry message from a no response, or continue messaging them over and over again, you have way bigger self-esteem issues on your hands. Instead of getting angry at the no response, try thinking “how can I empower myself so this small stuff never bothers me again?” If they consistently show this behavior it should really be easy to move on. Do you really want a partner or friend, who ignores you?

  1. Don’t hit on anybody you wouldn’t say hi to in person

This would save a lot of problems online. Guys, if we only meet people through the online world we deny ourselves the opportunity to develop real social skills needed in relationships and intimate situations. If you don’t have the courage to go up to somebody and strike up a conversation, maybe its best you pass on this particular hottie. Continually going for people online that we think deep down are going to turn us down causes our self-esteem to crumble with every rejection. If, though, this rejection is at least done in person, we actually build up real resistance and confidence, which moves us forward in life making it easier to approach the next person. We also develop the ability to check our anxiety and relax in similar future situations.

  1. Don’t assume people know what you want

People are on here for all different reasons. Get to the point of what you are after.  Guys, do your best to compartmentalize dating apps away from Facebook messenger or other social media messengers. Is this a friend messaging me on a hook up app? Why? Oh the awkward world of online dating.

  1. Market what you want

Somebody once pointed out to me that if I want a romantic relationship then maybe I shouldn’t have a shirtless profile pic as my first impression. After thinking about it, I couldn’t agree more. There are many examples of guys saying they want one thing but then do another and it can get really confusing quickly.  As a side note: never ever send your butthole to anybody EVER. WTF!! Yes it has happened to me. Same goes for the special D shot unless it is discussed and asked for first. How rude and usually GROSS!

  1. Respect yourself

Anytime we are lashing out at strangers online we are not respecting ourselves. Get over it, gurl. Move on. Life is too short.  If you have any notes in your profile that are racist etc., you are not only disrespecting other people on there, in my opinion you are also disrespecting yourself. Anything you put out into the universe has one big boomerang effect. Hi Karma! How have you been?

  1. Cat Fishing – Who does this?!

I just don’t understand this. I have had a few fake profiles of me out in the world. It makes me feel all sorts of things: Flattered? Ugh not really. It’s more invasive than anything. It’s totally sad, and desperate, that anybody would think they would have to succumb to this to get any attention and love in the world. Looks aren’t everything! When you stop judging yourself, and the world, on looks alone; you will find its doors open wide to you.  Love yourself first, and this means putting the real you out in the world and developing your confidence to the point where nobody can ever bring you down. Ever.

For more information on how to develop your self-confidence, get more dates, and raise your AQ®,  visit www.studtraining101.com

The First Step to becoming a STUD

The First Step to becoming a STUD

I have been racking my brain, meditating, and asking my business coaches and friends: what is the piece that I am missing here? I have clients that take my course and people are buying my books but why is it just trickling in when I feel like people should be knocking down my door? As far as I know I’m the only guy in the world that can GUARANTEE my clients will have a DRAMATIC INCREASE in their self-confidence, and where it really matters to us.

90% of my clients have a significant relationship within a year of taking my course. 90 freaking percent! The other 10% you mention? Yup, well after taking my course they decided that they would finally live it up and ENJOY their single life for maybe the first time in their lives.  It still blows my mind.  I know guys that are getting married or are now living with their partners and it lifts me the fuck up knowing I had even if just a little piece of setting them on that path.

BUT, they all did the first step to becoming a STUD before I even spoke to them. This is really what started to change their lives.

So what the fuck are we waiting for? What is this first step!?

THE FIRST STEP TO BECOMING A STUD IS BEING MAN ENOUGH AND COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO RECOGNIZE WE NEED HELP AND THEN TAKE ACTION. EITHER BY SEEKING OUT INFORMATION OR FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON WHO HAS THE KNOWLEDGE WE NEED TO CHANGE AND GROW. WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT THINGS ARE NOT WORKING, AND THAT IF WE DO NOT CHANGE THEY NEVER WILL.

STUDs all have one thing in common: they realize they don’t know it all and never can. They have the ability to check their ego enough to investigate and then soak up information they need to get bigger, faster, better, stronger, wiser, more passionate, become a better lover, ANYTHING.

Remembering back in my desperate and lonely days, this was the thing that changed my life.  I remember thinking, Is this all there is to life? Is this as good as it gets? Then it hit me, some people out there are living happier, healthier, better lives. They seem to always have women or men after them and they seem to really be happy and fulfilled. I had to find out how they were doing it. So I summoned the courage, and for me, I started to read books on confidence, relationships, dating, spirituality, happiness – and to this day, I STILL READ AND AM STILL LEARNING about all of these same things.

So. Are we willing today to take the FIRST STEP TO BECOMING A STUD? ARE WE WILLING TO ADMIT WE DO NOT KNOW IT ALL? Are we willing to admit that we are all teachers in this universe but as well we are all learners at times?

We can do this.  We can step out of our comfort zones today and say, “alright, I’m here. Now let’s learn something and then never stop learning.”

Trust me it will be one of the best decisions of your entire life.

For more information please visit www.studtraining101.com