Know when to have an OPINION….
Remember that last guy you met and might have even dated that was “too nice”??? He was amazing, so nice, put together, easy on the eyes… but something was missing. To put it frankly, you don’t want to jump his bones and you don’t know why.
Well it could be few things. One issue it might be was that he doesn’t ever give his opinion. I would bet a gazillion dollars that nice guy would constantly say things such as (especially when it comes to things like deciding on restaurants, entertainment, activities):
“I don’t care, whatever you want”
“I’ll have whatever you have”
These might seem harmless when you first read them and I’m sure every single one of us says them from time to time. I’m not saying they should NEVER be said and you should never go with the flow; I’m saying you should be conscious of if you say them often. Saying things like “it doesn’t matter” all of the time when it comes to decisions between two people starts to unconsciously translate as:
“My opinion is not as important as yours (so I’m not as important as you so why the hell are you hanging around me)”
“I’m not man enough, powerful enough, or confident enough to make decisions”
“I don’t care (about anything really)”
“I avoid my thoughts and feelings and would rather have you deal with them”
“I’m not willing to share with you my thoughts and feelings about even these tiny matters and essentially who I really am with you”
These might sound a little harsh. But we hang out and communicate with others because we like to have experiences-we like to LEARN something so we can grow and develop. If you are constantly saying “it doesn’t matter” and not giving an opinion on subjects, life, and activities, you consistently lose the opportunity to show somebody something new. You lose the opportunity to make an impact. You lose the opportunity to teach. HOW SELFISH of you also!! (Hello one sided relationship).
You don’t have to be a dick about giving your opinion or make judgements and force to get your own way all of the time; but just giving and having your opinion opens yourself up to others and shows that you matter.
What you think MATTERS. What you like MATTERS. What you have experienced MATTERS. So next time, make sure this is what you are presenting to the world- that you are special, you are important and that you matter.