When it comes to forming friendships, finding dates, or love; the people who have the best social lives – full of happiness and true meaning, simply GIVE more than the people who don’t.
When we give to ourselves and to the outside world, our AQ increases, and more people naturally start to flow towards us.
You may be thinking “That’s not true! I’m the nicest, most giving person – but I still could use more friends and more dates!” I’ll just be brief: Sorry, but you are really not as giving as you think you are. IF YOU WERE, the proof would be seen with you having an abundance of people who want to share this amazing experience of life with you.
Here’s how it works:
Everybody NEEDS & WANTS things in their life when it comes to other people. Everybody. None of us can get through life alone, and really, why would we even want to? Our best times are usually shared with others.
These are some common things everybody NEEDS in their life and in their relationships:
A. Guidance – we need help to know where to go next and what to do
B. Support– times get rough, who is there for me now?
C. Love- what is life without love? Who gives unconditional love to me?
D. Knowledge– in career, in love, in life, who has the best advice for me?
E. Understanding– nobody likes to feel alone, we need to know some special people who understand us, make us feel a part of things
F. Forgiveness– we all make mistakes all the time. The people that stay in our life are the people most willing to forgive us for being imperfect human beings.
G. Role models- who have we looked up to along the way? What qualities have we admired and tried to add to ourselves? Have we added strength? Have we added confidence?
These are some common things people WANT in their relationships:
a. Fun– want to go out? Have people over? I bet the fun people in your life come to mind FIRST
b. Laughter- some say it’s the best medicine, I agree!
c. Excitement- what special things are we working towards? Marriage? Vacation? Career Move?
d. Sexual Chemistry– those butterflies, who gives them to us?
e. Special Moments– when we look back on our lives, who is a part of those really special moments you remember?
f. Knowledge– I put this down again on purpose. All relationships are formed because of the potential of teaching and learning. This is how humanity survives and thrives.
Okay great. Maybe you even have some to add, or you might even want to switch some from one category to the other. Totally fine.
Now, if you want to start to improve your potential relationships, look at the list and do this exercise….
1. Go to the NEEDS list and explain how you GIVE to others in this way for sure right now with EACH & EVERY QUALITY LISTED (A-G).
How do you GIVE guidance now? How do you always GIVE support to the people in your life? How are you a role model for the people around you? ……
My example. I recently forgave an ex of mine after 3 years of ignoring him. He apologized and we are now friends again (I gave forgiveness and earned a friend because of it)
2. Then on this same list, explain how you could improve upon each (A-G)
How can you be more understanding? How can you be more loving? Understanding, are you quick to make people wrong or are you trying to see things from their perspective?
My example. Role models. Sometimes I am my best self and sometimes I need to grow up. I can be a better role model
3. Go to the WANTS list and explain how you GIVE to others in this way for sure right now WITH EACH AND EVERY QUALITY LISTED (a-f).
How do you GIVE laughter? How are you GIVING excitement? How do you GIVE special moments?
My example. I’m in the best shape of my entire life, giving some people those muscles for those who are attracted to that look. Or (fun) I like asking friends to go out to NBA games, MLB games, or to karaoke nights.
4. Then on this same WANTS list, explain how you can improve on giving each of these wants to others (a-f)
My example. Knowledge. I don’t blog as often as I should and from the emails I get from fans/clients/supporters I get, I know others want me to write more, and so I shall!
So do you see how this works now? As we GIVE not only to others but to OURSELVES, our AQ goes up and more people begin to naturally flow towards us.
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More on the author Chris Munro: Confidence Coach, Blogger, Contributor to MyGayToronto.com, Singer, and Author of The Power of Your AQ®: How to Build Confidence & Attract the People You Were Meant to Connect With