Being single is just as awesome as being in a relationship – if you are doing it right! That being said, if you do want to switch things up and be in a relationship and have struggled with this for 3 or more years, here are the top 10 reasons why this may be why. Enjoy!
You’re not willing to give others your time and energy
- Relationships involve putting in effort, sometimes even when it is not convenient for you. You may spend hours every day on Tinder, POF or Grindr, and/or you go to the bars on weekends searching for that special somebody. But when it comes to making a date- if you can’t even push your gym time back half an hour to fit them in, it is a clear sign that you don’t realize what relationships are all about, and what keeps them together. There are countless upon countless of super sexy, successful men and women out there. Month after month goes by, then year after year goes by and they still wonder. “Why am I still single when I have so much awesomeness going on”? If this sounds like you, consider this point carefully. If you live in a large city and can’t seem to find a date on Friday night can you really blame the millions of other people out there? Of course not. The only common denominator in all of your relationships (or lack thereof) is you. There are plenty of great catches out there, perhaps you just haven’t taken the quality time with them because you have been slightly self-absorbed. That’s okay, the minute you start to give others a real chance, open up, and be willing to give them your time and energy—the world of love might just open its doors to you.
You keep doing the same daily routine and expecting different results
2. This sounds like common sense. But is it really? If you go to the same places, on the same days, and go online on the same sites at the same times every day, you are literally looking at the same pool of fish, day in and day out. It’s time to mix it up. Go out on the other end of town this weekend. Connect with a different group of friends. You have absolutely nothing to lose here. Go a step farther and look at your life and see what ways you could do to possibly see an increase of new faces and meet new people. It’s simple math here; increase the odds of love in your favor.
You don’t have any interest in your own life. No hobbies, no interests. So why would they have an interest in you, if you don’t?
3. If you spend more time creeping others’ lives on the internet other than on working and living in your own life, it is a clear sign that you have lost interest in your own life. If you are not creating your own path and bringing others into it, others are bringing you into theirs. Keep a nice balance. What would being interested in your own life look like? Well for one thing you wouldn’t be on your phone all the time. You would be paying attention to what is happening in the here and now. This one I am working on these days and it is not easy!
You don’t love yourself and the world is following suit
4. When we love ourselves, we give off a special aura of confidence people enjoy being around. Do you REALLY love yourself and think you are amazing? If you don’t, try showing yourself some true love. Eat healthy, exercise, and don’t forget to feed your soul (meditate, walks in nature) and your mind (learning new skills, books). You give and you get. Not the other way around. Take care of yourself and watch how others start to pay a little more attention to you. If you don’t know where to start, that’s okay, reach out to a recommended professional.
You are in a stagnant relationship that you are too afraid to let go of
5. Playing it safe is great for a lot of people. If this is you nothing I write will change that. I can tell you though that you will never ever find that game changing partner if you are clinging on to a past that isn’t serving you anymore.
You have become bitter and jaded, cynical
6. Nobody likes to be around a Debbie Downer. Your friends will put up with you and your family will encourage you to pick up your feet in life. But the bottom line is, people that have a positive outlook and fun attitude attract others while negativity pushes others away. Get over yourself. You were never really hurt in the past, your ego was. Let it go and get back out there and try to enjoy this short time you have here. You’re only going to be this age once in your life so it’s a good idea to be making the most of it.
You have lost faith
7. Yes you have had some bad break ups and have run into some serious assholes. I’m sorry for that, nobody deserves that, really. But if you have given up on finding a partner in this life that is a sure fire way to get exactly that, nothing. To gain big you have to be willing to keep loving the world, without expectations, even when things don’t go as planned.
Your belief systems hold you in place and reinforce your doubts
8. We often have experiences in life and because of such, treat them as the ultimate “truth” of the world. The problem with this is that once we have a specific set of programming in our brain, we unconsciously do everything we can to see and validate these “truths.” If we go out with a few girls/guys that are extremely superficial and come to the conclusion that “all men or woman are superficial”, we set ourselves up for failure and to repeat the same process. Why? Because our brains are always working and we want to be “right” about how we feel. So we seek out the energy of yet another superficial person because it already fits into a story we “know” and are familiar with, while ignoring the down to earth guys or girls and unchartered territory that comes along with it. The result: you once again become validated in your thoughts that you are “right” in your belief and opinion about this, and meet yet another superficial person that you are frustrated with. The problem with this cycle is IT DOESN’T serve you and it’s definitely not the same experience all of us are having. There are plenty of down to earth awesome guys/gals out there; having THIS belief in my brain empowers me, helps me feel good, and puts me in a position of strength to have the correlating experiences that come along with it. You have to be willing to see outside of your own limiting experiences and look at the glass half full if you want different results.
9. Bad breathe and bad body odor are deal breakers for a lot of people. Some guys take this “natural smell” thing a little far. If it’s sour smelling, for the love of God take a shower. When it comes to bad breathe, if you aren’t brushing 3 times daily and flossing then you run the risk of others backing away when you are talking to them….and you can forget any type of kissing. The same runs true with colognes and perfumes. Keep those to a minimum. How do you know if you stink or not? Ask a really great friend to give you some honest truth.
You just haven’t met them yet
10. Relax. Single life is awesome. If YOUR single life is awesome, then it’s likely you don’t really care when your next big loving relationship will come along. It’s also very likely that others will want to be a part of your awesome life. Breakups happen all the time and we are all in the process of life. Enjoy the ride and don’t get stuck in singledom or in a stagnant relationship. Once you have mastered the art of love people will come into your life with ease, and you can flow from being single to being in a relationship (and vice versa) with ease, grace and joy!
Fear holds us back from most things in life. Not just fear of failure but usually fear of success. When we succeed, things have to change and that can be hard to visualize and be at peace with the lack of control; so we sometimes get stuck in a cycle of making the same mistakes and taking the same actions over and over again, keeping us where we are comfortable, which can eventually feel depressing. This is where courage comes in.
Each of us has a hero inside of us waiting to come out. Maybe we don’t have to save the damsel in distress from a burning building, but our individual paths call for courage, every single day. Our level of happiness is completely dependent on how willing we are to face our own individual challenges. Something as simple as calling up a loved one can be uncomfortable and terrifying for some while others see it as joy and do it often. Some can get up in front of an audience and speak and maybe even sing while others cringe at the thought of it while they hide in the back row avoiding to be called upon. But somehow the path we have chosen has set up individual challenges for us to go through. When we succeed in our own tests, we move forward to a more comfortable, happier place in life- with brand new challenges awaiting us. When we focus just on our own challenges in our personal lives, we open up opportunities. When we become our own hero, the world changes around us through our new perspective.
So today, right now, be the hero in your own life. Take control over your own happiness. Call that friend you have lost touch with you would like to reconnect with, forgive somebody to take the stress off yourself, do one thing outside of your comfort zone, take one small action step towards your new and improved life.
“The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them”- Einstein
I’m discovering being comfortable with our uncomfortableness is the key to making any sort of relationship and keeping it; if we do so desire. When we meet some people we are instantly at ease. These people may become friends or acquaintances we will speak to from time to time in the odd social setting. Funny though, when it comes to people we want to date this isn’t often the feeling we look for first. We prefer excitement, tension, and uneasiness. Will this person like me? Am I even in ‘their league’? If I call them will they bother calling me back? This is awesome! It’s important to sit with this for a moment; at first when we meet a potential dating/sex partner we LOVE the tension, excitement and unease, but this can quickly change. This unease can be fun at first but then can get exhausting, thought consuming and can lead to anxiousness if things don’t develop close or fast enough with our conscious or subconscious “expectations.” And this is what sets a STUD apart from the rest; the ability to deal with this uncomfortableness and uncertainty. A person who is confident, knows what he wants and where he is going has an easier time, and perhaps even will ENJOY this tension while he gets to know this potential other to see if it will be something worth continuing. On the other hand, a person who isn’t confident finds the tension in the times apart from this potential partner NOT FUN. They are anxious for things to move forward and move to a place of CERTAINTY where they know where things stand and if they will be valued. Well the problem is- nothing in life is certain. And in fact most of the best things in life come from reveling in this area of uncertainty and uncomfortableness. We don’t just see this in relationship building. I’m starting to see this everywhere. The next time you meet a special interest or potential friend remember these initial feelings and what you think that person brings to your life. Don’t be so quick to act or move through it to a place of “emotional safety”. This tension helps us become stronger people and some of the characteristics of it can bring great learning and joy to our lives.
To build up your self confidence and happiness please email email@example.com for info on course or to ask a related question
What I do:
I help men achieve a dramatically improved self worth, self image and a greater sense of connection; this improves their relationships and helps to create new potential ones.
I provide a framework and tools so the Studs In Training become more true to their authentic self and thrive in a new world of possibilities.
Why I do this:
I LOVE seeing positive change when guys decide to take their lives to the next level. The physical/mental and spiritual growth inspires me in return to continue to strive for my own best life. Sharing my experiences and skill set gives me a sense of true purpose and sense of connection with my clients.
I help bring out the STUD in YOU.
Please email firstname.lastname@example.org to register for the course Stud Training 101 (not all applicants will be suitable for this course)
You may have heard this term before. But what is the Law of Abundance and where do we see this operating in our daily life and sexual encounters?
The Law of Abundance is simply this: what you really FEEL you have ENOUGH of, you will get MORE of. Ever wonder why a certain type of male or female always seems to be attracted to you and you wish they were somebody else?? This is the Law of Abundance at work- you feel you have ENOUGH of this type ( and maybe don’t want), so this type continuously shows up in your life. Of course knowing this now we can use it to our advantage. Start by paying way more attention to the type of males/females that you like, be grateful when you see them (anywhere), feel that they are in fact with you and in your life (even though they may not be and you wish they were closer!) and put yourself in situations where they will most likely be. The more conscious of all these experiences you are the more likely it will be that you will convince your brain you have ENOUGH of this favorite type of yours, and this in turn will increase your odds of them being around you and in your actual life.
To take the 5 week Stud Training 101 course in the Toronto area please email Studtraining101@gmail.com
Hi there and thanks for checking out Stud Training 101. This blog provides useful tips on sexiness, physical/mental/spiritual well being and also the actual application of these. For example, why IS meditation so powerful, why do I care about it, and how does this help me get laid or find somebody I want to connect with??
You may have seen this on TV, Facebook or heard about it through a friend or website and wondered what this REALLY is all about!!
Well, what exactly is a STUD? We see examples of them every day on TV and around us in the clubs and at our work place. They enter a room with confidence, strong posture and a magnetism that seems to attract people to them. They engage in what looks like FUN and meaningful conversations with their friends, family members, co-workers, and even perfect strangers. Behind closed doors a STUD is fulfilled and feels happy- this is not just a “front” to put on in public. A STUD engages in AUTHENTIC behavior and is always on a quest to improve his life and happiness. YES, like everybody a STUD goes through ups and downs; but as he improves his skills and continues to work towards loving his life and his self these down times become fewer and further between and less painful, and are consistently being replaced with fun, intimate, perhaps sexual and purposeful experiences.
Is this you; are you a STUD??
If so, great…. if not- and there are some areas that could use some improvements- then Stud Training 101 is for YOU!!
The actual course provides 1 on 1 support to set the participants life on a crash course for dramatically improved self confidence, self image, improved physical/mental attractiveness and improved social relationships.
So, are you ready to go after what you REALLY want out of life????